What Life Is To Me

Life is:





Most of all never giving up.




Filling Our Voids

Why does emptiness seem to be the human condition?  Why are we born so needy and so hard to satisfy?

Why do most never seem to achieve happiness in anything they do or in their relationships?

I would say this is a sign of some deficiency or mental condition except that it is far too common and I believe man has always been this way.

Most try to fill their voids with romantic love or sex, food, drugs, excitement or whatever they desire to feel good for the moment.  It appears no matter how much we are educated to the facts of just how dangerous our addictions and habits are, we refuse to stop always searching for our nirvana.

I just find it odd that we are created so differently from how we were obviously meant to live.  Is our civilization so perverse from the actual nature of man because the people in charge demand our lives to perform difficult, sometimes meaningless tasks, for their benefit and personal gain or are we all missing the point of the meaning of life?

The fact that we are not here for our personal desires, but to be used as the tools we are to help others and to serve our short purpose for the good of all and glory of God, not for the personal gain of any man.


No Brag, Just Fact

The other day I recalled a conversation I had with my grandmother many years ago.  Wasn’t long or memorable, so I think this is why I didn’t really give it much thought until recently.

My entire life I have always done the right thing.  Since I was young, I have worked hard, played fair, never tried to get something for nothing, always reacted to others good fortune with happiness.  I was decent, honorable and helped people out when I could.  Most of my family was not like this, to put it kindly, and I noticed this. 

I asked my grandmother why she thought I was so different from my siblings, not trying to hint that there may have been a mix up in the hospital, though none of us look that much alike.  My grandmother simply said that she had no idea why people are the way they are.  Why siblings raised pretty much the same way could be as different as Cain and Abel.  That was it.  No thinking or trying to figure things out.  She had no idea and neither do I to this day.  I still don’t know why we are so different and that I have never had much contact with them due to some of their life choices and behaviors that I cannot understand and do not agree with.  They appear to take after our mother who always loved drama and even though she was not a dishonest person, she loves gossip and nick named me goodie-two-shoes which she meant as a put-down, but I took as a compliment. 

I tried not to judge them harshly my entire life, but surprisingly, it grows harder to do this the older I get.  Soon after I hit menopause, I began to feel more angry and irritated about things that previously did not bother me.  I think that’s where the term “old biddies” comes from.  I now know why the Bible states not to be yoked with non-believers.  They will only bring you down literally or figuratively and after a while it gets real old!  After a while you start thinking, who do certain people think they are, why do they think they don’t need to follow rules and that the world owes them a living?!

Something I was thinking about and praising God that I obviously knew I was His child from the beginning.  This does not mean I am perfect by a long shot, but my heart is a pure heart and that is me.  I know that now and no matter how hard my life has been I thank God for always being there for me and thank Him for Jesus to guide us and ultimately save our souls!  I don’t know why I have such a grateful heart and why others with more blessing than I, do not.  This is what leads some to self-destruct.  They don’t appreciate what they have and end up losing it.

Important Things to Think About

  1. Who are you who do not pray for the strength that God will give you?

  2. Who are you that do not love yourselves?

  3. Your children are an extension of your hopes and your frailties.

  4. If you do not show them mercy, then you have no mercy for yourself.

  5. This is why the spiritual fact is the way you treat others is the way you perceive and show your own worth to the world.

  6. This is why as you show mercy, so shall you be shown mercy and at the very least your bad behavior shows how you feel about yourself.

  7. At the worst, it can cause you to become uncivilized, even worse than an animal, a monster.

  8. Forgive yourself for being human, for being less than perfect.

  9. Forgive those that made you feel bad or small because they expected something from you that was not humanly possible.  The ones that expected from you what they themselves were lacking simply because it is not possible to be perfect.

  10. Rid yourself of the delusion that life is a contest or a test.  Life is life and is to be lived in the moment at the pace you were created to live it.

More important things to think about later.

Musings of Autumn And The Trees of Life

This morning I was brought to tears by trying to imagine what it felt like to be a tree.  A northern tree of course.  Not a tree about to be destroyed by some land developer, but just your average garden variety tree, pun intended.

It began when I started reading the weather report and thinking about the grand design of God, or nature as some believe, that keeps this world turning.  I was thinking about how wonderful it is that when the leaves are to fall off before the impending ice and snow come, there is always a lot of wind to help loosen those leaves from their little sockets.  Then I started thinking how the life of these trees cycle about the same way year after year, much like most of the life on this planet.

Do the trees have any sensation of temperature changes?  They obviously do have something inside them that responds to it.  I started wondering if they knew it was time to lose the leaves that they so painstakingly developed through the spring and summer.  I wondered if they felt a sense of loss of those leaves that were once a part of them or if they go through the changes completely unaware.  I thought about how it must feel once those leaves have all dropped and to have to withstand months of chilling cold, wind and ice.  Do they look forward to the spring somewhere in the recesses of their very pith?  I thought about how humans bemoan things in their lives, many of them avoidable or brought on by themselves.  Then I thought of the trees who are root bound, literally, in the same area of the same life year after year because that is their lot.  That is the way they were created.  To be shade and protection for the earth and for the other living creatures of the earth.  To give of themselves to be a home or a boat or a shelving unit in someone’s home.  Not to have any say in their existence, but to be at the mercy of other living creatures that are supposed to be able to know more and feel more than they supposedly do.

I wonder what we would think if we found out that trees really do have their own minds, in their own way.  I don’t think that most would care anymore then they now care about one another.

I began to wonder things like this at an early age because I was taught by certain family members to imagine what it felt like to be another person and I sometimes carry this to an extreme.  I was taught this so that I could learn compassion and empathy, something most of the world sorely lacks.  They lack this because they are not being taught correctly.  They are not being raised in the Word.  If I ever wanted to be mean or not like someone, I would think back to what I was asked when I was young and I was behaving in a selfish manner.  “What if that person was you?”  “Would you want someone to do this to you?”  Not if it’s cruel or negative in any way.  There is no one who likes to be hurt, likes to be lied to, likes to be mistreated in any way yet look at how many people do these things to others.  Why?  Life is hard enough and we are here to help one another, not be a hinderance.  Not see what we can get from someone and never give back in return.  We all relate to one another, all life does and you cannot have one-sided relationships of any kind that last.

Proud To Be An American

Proud to live in America.  When I was young my father wrote some kind of patriotic song that I thought was pretty corny at the time.  It was during the Vietnam war era.  “I’m going to walk across this land, shaking every, everybody’s hand.  Cause I’m proud to be an American, proud to live in America.”  Part of the chorus.  I’m an all American mutt of many nationalities with most of my family coming over from Canada in the last couple generations, so my family line has not been here all that long, other than my supposed Native American line.  In my many years in this country I have seen tremendous changes.  Unfortunately most are not for the good.   The changes in our people are disturbing.

Too many Americans have become spiritually as well as physically weak.  Most people do not know the meaning of the word discipline for themselves or for their children.  “If it feels good, do it” was one of the most lame brained and selfish sayings I have ever heard.  Does anyone in America have a deep thought anymore?  We live in an unhealthy, unrealistically fast paced society.  None of us are ever made to feel valued anymore.  We must learn to slow down and value ourselves and others before it is too late to change.  Before the “man” gets too used to using us up til there is nothing left of us mentally, spiritually or physically.  We must do this before we are too afraid to live according to the very Constitution that allows “Life, liberty & the pursuit of happiness.”  This is not just for the rich, don’t let them fool you.

I believe that most of us just go through the motions, trying to fill the great void we feel inside.  The void that we try to fill with over indulgence in food, drugs and loveless sex.  Breaking every commandment in the Book.  How strange.  How sad.  Are we really so ignorant and arrogant that we cannot bow before God and ask for anything real?  Forgiveness, strength, love.  The family has all but disappeared due to man’s lack of self-respect and self-control.  Just because big  business does not value us and we don’t have much control in most work situations is not a reason to tune out or lash out irrationally, like road rage.  It is a reason to try to change things for the better.  If you feel it’s broke, fix it, don’t run from in by getting high or trying some other way to block it out.

When young girls don’t respect themselves and don’t know their self-worth, many become unwed mothers in an attempt to have some kind of love in their lives.  They deserve love and security, but where will they find it?  Many don’t come from intact families themselves.  When young men don’t respect themselves and know their true worth, they act like fearful dogs.  Fighting and running around sniffing tail, thinking this makes them a man.  If you love and respect God you cannot help but respect yourself and others.  There can be no other way.  It is hard and takes discipline, which takes personal sacrifice.  In our attempt to be humane and accept the shortcomings of others, we have allowed them to stop trying.  We don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings and try to be so “politically correct” that we end up with their blood on our hands.  Many of us are trying so hard to pretend to tolerate behavior and lifestyles that have no place in a civilized, educated society.  No one wants to be the one to say the emperor has no clothes on.

I see so many young girls selling themselves out so cheaply in life and thinking that the most important thing in life is to shake your fanny and end up with another child that they will struggle to raise.  Different fathers and still no love or security for them or their children.  Where is God in their life?  What will our future generations ever hope to be without faith?  More drugs, promiscuity and self-defeating behavior, all media encouraged.  When I think that this is my America I feel disgusted and more than a little scared.  I realize that not everyone lives like this, but too many do.  How can we hope to have a strong country when so many just don’t get it or just don’t care?

The terrorist attacks on Tuesday, September 11, 2001 merely added to the destruction of our nation.   These acts confirm to all that pure evil really does exist.  Violence and evil go hand & hand, much like stupidity & evil.  The thing that knocks you off-center about this is the unpredictability of it all.  What do you hear news people saying after an attack of any kind?  “Why did this happen” or “How could this have been prevented?”  We have to try to immediately put some kind of reigns or control on the terror.  We pretend to ourselves that once an answer is realized, we will be able to prevent this from happening again.  As mortals we are all very vulnerable and it’s much too disturbing to admit that there are situations that are hard to predict and control.  Many Americans have been lulled into a false sense of security.  We’ve been brainwashed into wanting to hold the world’s hand and share a Coke, as long as that Coke is not over 16 ozs in some places.  We don’t want to face reality that some of the world would just as soon smash that Coke bottle over a counter top and shove the jagged glass in our guts.  We have to stop being so naive.  The main reason that we were encouraged to accept world diversity is so the rich could get richer in this country.  It is all about high finance and always has been.

Sometimes hardships and tragedies strengthen people, but too many people in this country have become spoiled, lazy and selfish.  Even those of us who are not, have lived and worked in stressed out conditions for too long.  Since our nation’s tragedy years ago, I have seen more road rage and tempers flaring.  People now have more stress then they can handle with so many feeling the pain of joblessness or downsizing.  This is now the time to be a little nicer to your brother who may be having a worse day then you.  A little kindness goes a long way.  Have patience with one another and try to understand where someone else is coming from.  They may really be suffering or they may just be the dip-stick you think they are.  Either way, shouldn’t you show a little compassion?  That could be you!

The one thing that I do know is that while evil may exist, so does good.  So does God.  But we must stop turning our backs on Him.  Trying to find another, easier way out.  If you think that we can fight evil with mere military strength, think again.  There is so much wisdom in the Bible, if only people would read it.  Faith really can move mountains.  Miracles do happen.  Man has become greedy.  They do not appreciate that every birth is a miracle and what do we do to our people?  Enslave, discard, murder, abuse and on a good day, take each other for granted.  It is always taken for granted that the sun will rise each morning to usher in another day.  That birds will sing.  That everything God has created has a place and a purpose under heaven that has gone on for many years and will continue, hopefully, in spite of man.

Man is the only one of God’s creatures that has managed to mire his existence with technology and the pollution that comes with it.  Man and his ego.  Man and his toys.  Good people forget that evil has no reason, no purpose, no motives other than for evil’s sake.  Our nation was based on “In God We Trust.”  Some trust the money it is written on more.  We must love God and ourselves and one another.  Respect everyone, whether you agree with them or not.  Help anyone that you can.  If it lifts up, it is God.  If it tears down, it is evil.  These are not hard concepts.  Quiet your spirit and God is there, He was always there.  You allowed yourself to become too busy trying to fill a void that never existed in the first place.  May God bless and keep all of the planet and deliver His people from evil.

May God especially bless all the heroes in our world that have given themselves, even their very lives, to help those that were and are in need.  Thank you for making this world a better place for your being here, however long that is or was.  I’m reminded of the words in an Emily Dickinson poem, “If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.  If I can ease one life the aching, or cool one pain, or help one fainting robin, unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain.”