Writing 101: Cereal Saga Part III

whitebleedingheart3Going completely rogue on this one so I can keep it consistent with the first two parts of my “cereal killer” theme.

So, moving, to be or not to be whatever.  I was picking up a few items at the local grocer this weekend and a woman walked past me that looked familiar, but I couldn’t place her.  She looked at me as well, but kept walking.  A little while later we passed again and she said “You look familiar to me, then before I could think she said it was from the apartment complex where we were both filling out forms in the office.  The minute she reminded me, it fell into place.

She asked me if I had heard back from them.  I told her I hadn’t.  She said that they were called a couple of weeks ago about a number of apartments that were available.  I know they were higher on the waiting list than I was so didn’t sweat that part of it, but was concerned because it means they will be calling me very shortly as well.  It may be tomorrow, maybe next month, but it will be soon.  Again that inner hesitation and dread because I refuse to give in to what appears to be my fate.

I refuse to believe there is not going to be some help, or saving grace that will prevent my ultimate failure because, I reason to myself, none of this is my fault.  Good thing that stops bad things from happening to good people (sarcasm).  So I went out to lunch with some of my neighbors today and that prevented me from having to think about it for a while.  Meantime I am slowly cleaning things up, getting ready for another yard sale.  Even called one of my brothers to let his friend know he can pick a few things up soon.

All this shows that I’m at least starting to face up to the fact that life is change.  I want good change because I’ve had enough shocks and bad news.  Surprises are OK, because a surprise is always positive, like “Surprise Parties!”  Like finding out I’ve won the lotto and not necessarily some huge amount, but just enough to pay off my home or at least the difference when I sell it.  No bankruptcy then.  I’m preparing myself for the good things to come in life so I won’t be too shocked when it happens.

whitebleedingheart2

Writing 101: Cereal Postmortem

Calumetcemetaryerasetexture2Woke up refreshed for the first time in a while after sleeping approximately 8 hours.  That’s a huge deal for me.

I can just recall the part of my dream before waking of looking out of a large window onto a funeral procession of old.

I felt relaxed and calm, not sad or upset so I don’t know what it really represented to me.

With new eyes and a different outlook, I was able to find some important information to resolve one of the problems I have been working on.  Finding this out has made a difference on what I will be doing in the near future and has given me hope.  I still have a lot of things up in the air, but I finally have my hope back which is everything to me.

 

Writing 101: The Cereal Killer

Too much loss, too little grey matter.  Feeling very tired today.  I lost my sister a few months ago and my puppy boy in 2011 among many friends.  I started really missing Raizen today.  We were two of a kind, even about the same age in dog years before he passed suddenly after a short illness.  He was the only one I trusted the short time he lived with me.  I never thought I would ever be one of those people that love animals more than people.  Glad he didn’t have to suffer for long like my poor sister did.  Life is cruel.  Very cruel.  And there was that pesky little attempted murder on one of my brothers Christmas of 2012 where he was stabbed over 20 times by another brother that was higher than a kite and hopefully temporarily insane.  Thank God for this dream world that I live in where everything is so wonderful and no one ever dies, they just take off for an extended vacation.

Started shaking last night after I talked to one of my neighbors that brought up the fact I may be moving away shortly.  It finally seemed real to me.  I never think about it and I still haven’t packed anything.  That will be my excuse not to leave.  I can’t go after all.  I’m not even packed!  So everyday business as usual and I refuse to fight with one more person about anything.

Captain Crunch would be a perfect cereal killer due to you know a Captain would have access to all kinds of weapons.