is not very realistic. You can choose to forgive, but no one ever forgets, unless it’s from actual damage to the brain. You can choose not to think about it until “the next time.” It’s those next times that do finally ruin relationships. I believe that true forgetting can happen for one time instances and that’s great, but rarely is that the case.
I know. I’ve been there. I know I don’t hold grudges at all or there would have been those I never would have spoken to again after some of their stunts, but after a while you have to look at any relationship that demands never-ending forgiveness. One sided relationships never work out, nor should they. Allowing continuous bad behavior does not serve anyone. Why would anyone allow another to be the worst they can be? Like when some parents spoil a child that no one wants to be near.
There is a lot said in the Bible and other places about never-ending forgiveness, but tell me, why should anyone need this? Mistakes should always be forgiven. Even doing something downright wrong can be forgiven since no one is perfect and most do stupid things that even they question “whatever possessed them?”
We can’t choose our relatives however we can choose to love some from afar. Especially those we know that have poor impulse control, are into substance abuse or just plain nasty and are a danger to themselves or others. They used to have places for people like this and when they closed most mental hospitals, our society adjusted by “putting up with” things people would have never dreamt of putting up with 50 years ago.
I had experiences with some that I kept forgiving all kinds of slights or “slaps in the face” which were very telling to me and after a while you have to give in to the reality that it’s not that you don’t forgive them, but you are smart enough to know that they obviously don’t feel the same way about you as you feel about them. This is hurtful and even more so when you finally cut certain people out of your life because really, what’s the point anymore?
I would rather be by myself than with others that make me feel “less than.”
“You have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.” Matthew 5:38-39
I am all for loving your brother and forgiveness. I do not hold grudges and have malice towards none, even if they really piss me off and I do think they are terrible people. I know that sooner or later it all comes out in the wash, or it doesn’t, I really don’t care. Just don’t mess with me. I know that I am no better than my enemies when I only love those that are good to me but I don’t like people that hurt me. I realize that you cannot love evil people dearly but you can have compassion and forgiveness if they ask for it. You do not have to get even.
If nobody ever forgave, everyone would try to get even and this is why the world keeps fighting even though they know better. The ones that don’t want to follow the commandments of God simply begin their own religions and expect that they will be taken seriously. You can believe anything you want, but for me and my house we will serve the Lord. We will believe the truth when it is self evident. I know Jesus is the son of God for how he lived and what he could do beyond the resurrection. If everyone refuses to say they are sorry or forgive an injustice and demands payment for a sin, it will continue to man’s final blood bath because it can only escalate in hatred and anger.
In this teaching, Dr Martin Luther King Jr said, “The old law of an eye for an eye leaves everybody blind. It is immoral because it seeks to humiliate the opponent rather than win his understanding. It seeks to annihilate rather than to convert.” This is the problem with the world leaders including America. To pretend to be Christian and then go out to slaughter your enemies in retaliation to their evil, is complete hypocrisy and very sad to me because if you really do have a relationship with Jesus, you could not do this. Jesus told his disciples that if they loved him, they will keep his commandments. They will love one another because to not keep this commandment means the end of the world.