Daily Prompt: Giggles!

Many years ago we were sitting in church with our friends during the Christmas season.  It was a special evening program for all ages and our oldest son, at the time about 8 years old,  was telling us that earlier that day the children had all made Christmas cards for the pastor of our very large church.

When the pastor came out he was holding a card in his hand at which our son said excitedly, “Hey, the pastor has my card!  I can tell by the drawing I did on the back of it!”  We were to discover our pastor had decided to start the evening service with a little humor.  He advised the congregation that the children had all given him Christmas cards after morning service and he was hoping that they would enjoy one card in particular.  None of us had any idea what he had written, so he began:

“Roses are red, violets are blue, it’s snowing outside and in here too!”

To which there were gales of laughter.  At the time I sort of laughed but was more mortified than amused.  My friend sitting right next to me could not stop giggling for the longest time.  Even when the service started, I could see her body shaking in the laughter she kept trying to stifle, then I started giggling as well.  We were both trying to keep our composure while the sermon was being preached.  We kept setting each other off.  I don’t remember when we finally managed to get it together and put our attention back on God!  After the evening program I tried to explain to my confused son why everyone had such a good laugh at his expense.

Daily Prompt: Sorry I’m Not Going With You

Is what I said to a woman I was friendly with but not friends with.  She was a woman I met right after I was divorced that always went to discos to pick up young men and I mean young!  I wasn’t exactly fond of how she treated others but she was OK as long as I went where she wanted to go and did everything she asked of me.  She was like that with everyone.  She was quite a bit older than I by over ten years and always tried to pass for someone much younger.  She always prided herself that she looked as young as her daughters that she sometimes would meet there.

I admit to her getting on my nerves at times with her rudeness, vanity and arrogance.  I would tell her so on occasion, but still kept putting up with it so I could have a Disco buddy.  Most of my other friends were married or didn’t believe in hanging out in dance halls.  One day she wanted me to go with her somewhere because she didn’t want to be alone.  I was busy and didn’t want to go and flat-out told her so.  Normally she would tell me to get fucked (she was very classy) or hang up on me if I said something she didn’t like on the phone.  She was used to getting her own way from everyone, and I actually was finally sick of it.  Sick of her attitude.  I knew she was upset because a much younger man had dumped her in a very cruel way and I tried to comfort her everyday for weeks.  I had finally had enough with her milking it in her usual selfish manner.

She was very angry and almost never spoke to me after that.  She refused to come to see my new home after I moved so I stopped talking to her altogether.

I think I should have helped her or at least told her to finally get lost, but I used to sort of feel sorry for the bitch.  And yes, she was a super-duper bitch.  You don’t know the half of it and I don’t like to tell tales out of school so we will end it here, but I did always feel bad for not going with her, even though she was obviously not really a friend to me.