A haphazard life leads to a Willy-nilly future.
Usually I use this post to bitch about all the stuff I think is wrong with the world. Today I’m going to try something different.
This morning I was thinking about some things from when I was a young teen. When my life was sort of fun and exciting for a while. My parents had a huge blow up with my grams (still a secret, but my dad was awol for a while before coming back and my gram basically throwing us out to sell the house she shared with us so either he was shacking up with another woman and my mom took him back again or he was in jail/prison again). Either way, my dad got another job, a good job for once too. He usually couldn’t hold on to one for more than a year or two tops when he worked at all and my mother got a job in receiving for a discount department store in the area so we were able to purchase another home ourselves in a lower-income area. I actually felt more at home there than the last “uppity” neighborhood where some of the kids couldn’t “play with us.”
In the new neighborhood we were the upper crust. My mom was also an artist, my dad a musician that did play some of the local hangouts on weekends. This was the 60’s now and non-conformity was “IN!” Some of the neighbors and local business owners would let us know how they “saw our dad playing” the other day. He was star! He and his friends sometimes jammed late into the night and we loved listening to them. I was actually starting to write a book about my life many years ago that I would like to finish one day soon. If boring people can write autobiographies, so can folks like me, but I would do it anonymously. I sometimes forget that I used to have a very interesting life. Never a dull moment for sure.
I became fascinated by the occult at this time. It was exciting and new, magical and mystical, it was the way for me to finally find some clarity in my life as a ghost. An invisible person. I would finally know my future! Being poor and abused, I was very quiet and meek so no one noticed me. At home if you were noticed, you were punished in some way whether you were guilty of anything or not. My dad would sometimes beat us when he was drunk and laugh and say, “that’s for the next time you even think of doing something wrong.” This is why many of my posts are about evil. I know of which I speak having been around it most of my life.
I was just turning 14 years old. A great age. I was developing as a woman and was really into clothing design at the time making most of my own clothing too. I wish I had pictures that showed them but I never thought of this as being important as I know it is now. We have no documentation of the coolest times of our lives back then. That ego crap didn’t start getting pumped into society til the 70’s, though there was that “If it feels good, do it” statement that I thought was retarded even back then when I was a free spirit. Though I did try everything once, I never needed drugs or alcohol, I was high on mysticism and magic back then. I was not religious at all, in fact somewhat against organized religion at the time as very hypocritical. Much of it still is. But I was fascinated by the kindness and love of Jesus for as long as I can remember.
My best friend’s mother used to hold table tipping seances with her adult friends every Friday night and let us sit in on them and join them sometimes. Seemed fun at the time! Before I realized how the occult was bad because it’s based on our ego and maybe spirits and not based in trust in God. I used Ouija boards and tarot cards, read tea leaves and studied I ching, astrology and palm reading. I even had a book, can’t remember the name of it, that told your fortune sort of like a paper magic 8 ball, and I had one of those too! Never told me anything I could use, FYI.
I was new to the area, I was starting a new Junior High 9th grade as one of the coolest chicks around! There were some that wanted to hate me, jealousy, but my sister helped them keep it in check. Much bigger and more aggressive than I, she was like my body-guard. It was a total culture shock to me from mousey invisible girl to hot bleached blond mod chick! I did have to wear glasses but there was another girl I became friends with who said she was so happy another cool girl was there that wore glasses too! She and I dressed a lot alike with the English caps, long bangs and very short skirts!
I also had the privilege to go to numerous concerts and press conferences for various bands and singers. Got to meet a number of interesting people during that time but I was shy so I didn’t try to be a groupie or anything like that. No private parties, even when I got older. That will be another post at a later date and so is more info to be shared regarding the occult near the Halloween season.