I was in jail before I was born.
Very unique start for anyone and I don’t really want to go into details of why this is so, other than I come from a severely dysfunctional family and sometimes this happens to folks like us who never asked to be born in the first place. That’s why when I hear the heartless say that some “just make excuses” for their lives, I wish that they could take a walk in their shoes, if only for a day.
September has been declared National Suicide Prevention Awareness month. I hate all these “National this and that” but I guess if they did not do this, some things would be forgotten until they happen to us personally. This is a subject that needs to be thought about since it adversely effects so many people.
There are many reasons that people decide they would “rather not be here.” These are the people that do not know their true worth and internalize guilt. They do not realize that life is very hard and horrible for most of us and that we really do have to remember that our “second wind” will come very shortly because life is nothing but change. They probably take everything way too seriously and personally maybe keep expecting things to work out exactly how they planned. Anyone who as ever tried or contemplated suicide knows exactly what I am talking about.
As someone who has survived a suicide attempt as a teenager, I know the dangers of our thought process, especially when we don’t know any better, and just how much anger has to do with this decision. I would honestly say that anger, not sadness, is more to do with this act. Supposedly depression is anger internalized. I could never express anger when I was young or I would have been severely punished. I saw anger all the time from my parents and even siblings, but thought I just didn’t have it in me to be mad until I started getting older. I would react in fear all the time. Fear turns to anger after a while, that’s just a fact. You can only fear for so long then you begin to get very angry at that intimidating factor, whatever it may be. This is how revolutions are born, by the way.
Jesus saves, even today. LOVE ONE ANOTHER! It is commanded, which means it’s not if you feel like it, but it’s something you must do and I wonder why? Look around and if you cannot see that Jesus is the only truth, life and way, then you are kidding yourself. Everyone deserves love and should act like it by giving this needed love to others as well.
Chorus from Casting Crowns “Who Am I?”
“I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow
a wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I’m calling, Lord, you catch me
when I’m falling and you’ve told me who I am.
I am yours!”