is not very realistic. You can choose to forgive, but no one ever forgets, unless it’s from actual damage to the brain. You can choose not to think about it until “the next time.” It’s those next times that do finally ruin relationships. I believe that true forgetting can happen for one time instances and that’s great, but rarely is that the case.
I know. I’ve been there. I know I don’t hold grudges at all or there would have been those I never would have spoken to again after some of their stunts, but after a while you have to look at any relationship that demands never-ending forgiveness. One sided relationships never work out, nor should they. Allowing continuous bad behavior does not serve anyone. Why would anyone allow another to be the worst they can be? Like when some parents spoil a child that no one wants to be near.
There is a lot said in the Bible and other places about never-ending forgiveness, but tell me, why should anyone need this? Mistakes should always be forgiven. Even doing something downright wrong can be forgiven since no one is perfect and most do stupid things that even they question “whatever possessed them?”
We can’t choose our relatives however we can choose to love some from afar. Especially those we know that have poor impulse control, are into substance abuse or just plain nasty and are a danger to themselves or others. They used to have places for people like this and when they closed most mental hospitals, our society adjusted by “putting up with” things people would have never dreamt of putting up with 50 years ago.
I had experiences with some that I kept forgiving all kinds of slights or “slaps in the face” which were very telling to me and after a while you have to give in to the reality that it’s not that you don’t forgive them, but you are smart enough to know that they obviously don’t feel the same way about you as you feel about them. This is hurtful and even more so when you finally cut certain people out of your life because really, what’s the point anymore?
I would rather be by myself than with others that make me feel “less than.”