Today some of you have the privilege of showing your dad just how much he is loved and appreciated.
Others have the reminder of just how much they miss him, especially at this time of year.
Then there are the ones like me. The ones who either never had a father or were abandoned by him when they needed him the most.
I never spoke about my father to others. Many years ago my co-workers were talking about what they were planning for their fathers on father’s day, some remarking how they had previously lost their father. I was the only one not saying anything. I think because of this one of them asked me if my father was still alive and the conversation went a little like this:
“Is your dad still alive?”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“My dad took off when I was a teen and we never heard from or about him ever again.”
“Oh. That must feel really weird not to even know where you dad is or if he’s even alive.”
I think that was the only time anyone ever asked me about my dad or that I spoke about him to others.
If my dad were living, he would be 80 years old. He ran off with another woman purportedly 8 years his senior when I was a senior in high school. My mother was 3 years his senior, so there appears to be a pattern. He had six children between the ages of seventeen and one at the time. My father was 35 years old when he left and my mother was swearing this other, older woman was pregnant with his child. We were told about our half-brother by this other woman after my dad left her as well years later.
I didn’t tell my co-workers the entire truth because it was not anyone’s business and I was already getting the pity eyes just because he took off in the first place. I had heard he was still alive approximately 12 years after he left. I was married with two children of my own at the time. Apparently someone was investigating my father for some unsavory business in the southern states. That’s when some chickens really came home to roost as they say and which actually brought about the end of my marriage for various reasons that I may muse about in some other future posts.
To those of you who have a great dad who was always there for you, please let him know how much you love and appreciate him for this, and not just today. There are many who don’t appreciate their fathers for petty, small-minded reasons. I feel sorry for those people and would gladly trade places with them. No one is perfect and this is the time to celebrate having a real dad with faults and everything.