Too much loss, too little grey matter. Feeling very tired today. I lost my sister a few months ago and my puppy boy in 2011 among many friends. I started really missing Raizen today. We were two of a kind, even about the same age in dog years before he passed suddenly after a short illness. He was the only one I trusted the short time he lived with me. I never thought I would ever be one of those people that love animals more than people. Glad he didn’t have to suffer for long like my poor sister did. Life is cruel. Very cruel. And there was that pesky little attempted murder on one of my brothers Christmas of 2012 where he was stabbed over 20 times by another brother that was higher than a kite and hopefully temporarily insane. Thank God for this dream world that I live in where everything is so wonderful and no one ever dies, they just take off for an extended vacation.
Started shaking last night after I talked to one of my neighbors that brought up the fact I may be moving away shortly. It finally seemed real to me. I never think about it and I still haven’t packed anything. That will be my excuse not to leave. I can’t go after all. I’m not even packed! So everyday business as usual and I refuse to fight with one more person about anything.