The other day I recalled a conversation I had with my grandmother many years ago. Wasn’t long or memorable, so I think this is why I didn’t really give it much thought until recently.
My entire life I have always done the right thing. Since I was young, I have worked hard, played fair, never tried to get something for nothing, always reacted to others good fortune with happiness. I was decent, honorable and helped people out when I could. Most of my family was not like this, to put it kindly, and I noticed this.
I asked my grandmother why she thought I was so different from my siblings, not trying to hint that there may have been a mix up in the hospital, though none of us look that much alike. My grandmother simply said that she had no idea why people are the way they are. Why siblings raised pretty much the same way could be as different as Cain and Abel. That was it. No thinking or trying to figure things out. She had no idea and neither do I to this day. I still don’t know why we are so different and that I have never had much contact with them due to some of their life choices and behaviors that I cannot understand and do not agree with. They appear to take after our mother who always loved drama and even though she was not a dishonest person, she loves gossip and nick named me goodie-two-shoes which she meant as a put-down, but I took as a compliment.
I tried not to judge them harshly my entire life, but surprisingly, it grows harder to do this the older I get. Soon after I hit menopause, I began to feel more angry and irritated about things that previously did not bother me. I think that’s where the term “old biddies” comes from. I now know why the Bible states not to be yoked with non-believers. They will only bring you down literally or figuratively and after a while it gets real old! After a while you start thinking, who do certain people think they are, why do they think they don’t need to follow rules and that the world owes them a living?!
Something I was thinking about and praising God that I obviously knew I was His child from the beginning. This does not mean I am perfect by a long shot, but my heart is a pure heart and that is me. I know that now and no matter how hard my life has been I thank God for always being there for me and thank Him for Jesus to guide us and ultimately save our souls! I don’t know why I have such a grateful heart and why others with more blessing than I, do not. This is what leads some to self-destruct. They don’t appreciate what they have and end up losing it.