Usually the very people that live with them.
On the evening of 12/11/2012, my family’s world was forever changed, and not for the better. Tragedy is not a stranger to us, unfortunately, but this was one that I never dreamed would darken my family’s door.
When I awoke 12/12/2012 I had no idea of what had transpired the night before . With so many talking about this date having some kind of significance, I had no idea and no such belief that this date would bring so much horror and complete despair. I did know that it was the second year anniversary of the death of one of my very best childhood friends, though we had lost touch for many years. I was reminded of the anniversary of the death of John Lennon a few days before, brutally murdered by a sociopath. This has taken so long to post because I am really having a hard time putting it down in writing and the story is still not over.
Horror is the sign you see in movie sections, the ones I avoid. I don’t like evil and don’t believe in giving it glory like that.
I went out shopping for remaining Christmas gifts for a few people that morning. It was a great day, warmer than usual and I felt good for the first time in a while enjoying the bustle in the stores, knowing I was almost done with my errands. I stopped at McDonald’s for a dollar menu McDouble, something I only do a few times a year, and came home to unload my car and flop down with my burger and a cup of coffee. Soon after I finished it, my phone rang. It was one of my sister-in-laws sounding tearful asking what happened in my family. I did not have any messages regarding anything amiss and asked her what she meant. She spoke very tearful and haltingly and said that she believes something horrible happened to one of my brothers, a fight or an accident and that she heard he was in the hospital. I asked her to stop and not to tell me anymore at this time. I was horrified and told her not to say anymore because I simply couldn’t bear it. I needed to get my mind wrapped around the fact that our world was about to change again and not for the better. It is especially hard for someone like me to accept this. My sister and myself have been praying and believing for a very long time for the miracle of my family to stop their self-destructive behavior and find Jesus. My sister-in-law told me that she hated to have to tell me this, but that her brother had found out from a mutual friend that works with one of my brothers that there was an accident or a fight or something and she was not sure of the details but that possibly one of my brothers may have even been killed. I told her that I would call her back when I heard something, but advised her there was no answer from my mother’s home when I tried to call her earlier, where the incident supposedly took place. I drove the 15 minutes to my mother’s home sick to my stomach with fear and bracing myself for the worst case scenario that one of my brother’s was possibly dead.
All kinds of thoughts raced through my head. “A fight?” “An accident?” Three of my brothers live with my mother since their divorces and major job losses. I really did not want to find out what happened but just wanted to crawl into my bed and pretend that I never received the call and the world really is made out of rainbows and pink cotton candy, instead of shit and bullets. I knew one of my brothers had a gun. I knew that just like our missing father, they all drank and sometimes heavily. I knew that if no one was home and there was a problem, one of the neighbors would fill me in and unfortunately I was correct. The minute I pulled into the drive I called the home number again to see if anyone would answer. Only one of the cars was gone from their drive. Still no answer and I felt sick to my stomach! As soon as I disconnected the unanswered call, a neighbor from across the street came running over. He told me that no one was home, that they were still at the hospital, which I knew was a good thing.
He proceeded to tell me that one of my brothers violently attacked his younger brother with a knife and a heavy frying pan that he repeated beat him over the head with. He told me that his head was split open, and that he had been stabbed multiple times. I almost passed out from the shock of hearing something so demonic and evil as this. We come from a severely dysfunctional family with the usual garden variety of abuse and neglect, but nothing like this ever happened in our family before. He told me that he was sorry to have to tell me this and that my brother was deceased when he was taken away, but someone told him he was revived once he got to the hospital. Found out that he was taken to a hospital that was near my house due to the injuries, instead of the hospital near him. I drove straight to the hospital and was told that they did not have a patient by that name, so I went home to wait to be contacted, enraged and crying all the way home, cursing that damned satan for all his tricks for the feeble-minded and poor in spirit. Cursing the fact that evil even exists and that so many love to dance with the devil in the pale moonlight. I prayed, but still prepared myself to hear the worst. I later found out that hospitals are not allowed to advise of any patient admitted due to assaults, for their own protection.
My brothers were once married, had families and were successfully employed for years, but their love of drink ruined them. I seldom quote scripture to them or preach, but whenever the opportunity presents itself, I take advantage. I seldom have anything to do with my family because of the way they have all trashed their lives and live only to drink satan’s piss, as I call it. I have learned to stay clear of people who are self-destructive and obviously hate themselves. They will also hate and possibly hurt those trying to help them. When I speak to them about my faith and forgiving themselves for messing up or not being perfect, I try to explain that it is OK for them to succeed just because some drunk that they were related to told them they would fail. So far, they don’t seem to get that. They would rather be high. It has been their lifelong dream to stop their pain this way and thank God I don’t quite understand it. There was a reason that Jesus told his disciples to shake the dust off their feet from towns that refused to accept them. As much as it hurts, you can’t save everyone and some angry people like to take as many down with them as they can.
None of my brothers were ever abusive to their children but my brother that did the attack has also attacked other people sporadically in his life including his wife, putting one in the hospital near death, a child molester, who never pressed charges. I started thinking about this and the fact that I do avoid that brother, even though he never hurt me or acted hostile to me my entire life. I am a gentle person and easy to get along with so I never had a problem with any of my brothers ever being mean to me. We used to get along great as kids, except for the fact of him constantly attacking his younger brothers at the drop of a hat. I had to pull him off them to stop him but he would stop and not try to fight me or get mad at me for stopping him from punching his little brothers.
I decided to call another younger brother that moved away years ago because he did not like to be around the dysfunctional family he came from. I tried to break it to him gently and told him that I am still waiting for information from someone in the family. He told me about the time that he had to be treated with stitches from a run in with that same brother many years ago. Both of my brothers involved are veterans and I am not sure if this makes any difference to their temperament or disposition to violence. Neither served in active combat. I received a call later that evening from the same brother who informed me that our brother was still alive in intensive care with multiple stab wounds over his entire body and that he had minor head injuries from his head being split open by a frying pan. I was to be told later that it was a miracle that he made it with the amount of blood he lost from all the stab wounds, including a major one in his neck. It has just been a demonic freaking nightmare and if people don’t think the world ended December 2012, think again. It ended for many of us. It ended for those little children a few days later because yet another demonic possessed ahole decided to dance with the devil in the pale moonlight. Throw a fit, act insane and imitate something he saw on a movie or television show.
What makes me angry is the complacent, enabling attitude my mother has always had, even with our horrible father. I don’t know if people like that are weak, scared or just don’t know what to do. I cannot imagine being scared like that, as an adult woman. I can’t understand why some are doormats or punching bags and make things worse for everyone involved, even the creeps that don’t practice self-control. Only the month before, my brother that was attacked told me that he did not trust the brother that eventually tried to kill him, because of his hostility. Instead of insisting that he get help and stop drinking, my mother sits there and lets it continue til something like this happens. That same brother, punched out yet another brother about a year ago, and thankfully did not do major damage, but break his glasses. I personally despise people like this. They are compassionless and don’t care who they hurt. They throw their adult fits and think that they are allowed the carnage they create without any real care or concern of what they do to others. Substance abusers are creeps for this reason.
This is exactly the reason why so many murders do take place. People walk on eggshells around the psychos in their lives instead of banishing them. I am a super believer in tough love because no adult is owed anything from anyone and if they wish to have a relationship with someone, they better be thrilled that someone cares about them and they are blessed enough to have someone in their life who cares about them at all. They should continuously have the prodigal son mentality, after he returned, that is. When he came back after trashing his life, he threw himself at the mercy of his father and said that he was only fit to live with the swine. Only an evil fool ruins relationships and lives by abuse and disrespect and destroys their own brain cells with drugs and alcohol. There is no excuse to hate yourself and ever believe anything negative someone told you as a child. At my age, with my life experience, I am sick of people like this. Boo hoo, daddy didn’t wuv you a million years ago. Get over it and develop a personal relationship with Jesus the Christ before it is too late!